My whole life, I've thrived on being surrounded by others. The more the merrier! The activities that most people do alone, I prefer to do with others.... studying, grocery shopping, laundry, getting ready for a night out, even reading. I have always attributed this characteristic to growing up as an only child. I've had enough "alone time"! Hang out with me!!
This is one of the reasons why Remote Year has been so amazing. I've gotten to work side-by-side people who are becoming my closest friends, be constantly surrounded by roommates, explore cities with strangers and spark conversations with 60 different people. I've been completely in my element. I've been operating in groups of people the majority of my days, and when I'm not, I have been able to find someone easily with the quick mention of an activity on our Slack channel. A simple, "Who wants to grab a coffee?" results in 10 new friends crowded around a coffee table in a bohemian cafe.
There are so many incredible, powerful benefits of this tight-knit, easily-accessible community that we have established. I wouldn't have it any other way, but this month, it caught up to me.
It wasn't a particular moment or person, but one day I woke up and could not possibly fathom seeing or interacting with anyone. I thought this was just a mood, but it persisted for almost a week.
I couldn't believe the reaction I was having, it was nothing I've ever experienced before. I found myself ducking past restaurant windows that I knew my friends were at, because I didn't want them inviting me in; searching for the quietest cafe corner so I could read my book and not see anyone else; lying to my roommates about where I was headed so that they wouldn't ask to join me; taking the tram to the outskirts of the city just to walk around with no agenda. It was becoming ridiculous. I was beginning to wonder, what was wrong with me?
You'll be happy to hear this mood finally faded, but only after about 6 days of trying to remove myself from every social setting I possibly could. And being less-than-enjoyable in social settings I had to attend.
The reality was, Remote Year caught up to me this month. I quickly realized nothing was wrong with me. I simply needed time to myself to reflect on this go-go-going adventure that I'm on, and I hadn't given myself any of that time thus far. So, I'm glad it caught up with me (even if it did in a dramatic way). It allowed me to step back and evaluate what I needed in order to process, reflect and recharge for this experience. I was able to learn more about myself and learn that I am independent, and need to allow myself that time alone (despite what attributes I've previously given myself).
My goal moving forward is to allow for more time alone each week, so that I don't have to become as dramatic and isolated as I had to this month. And I'm so pumped for it.
