Decision Time.

To say that this decision gave me anxiety is an understatement. There were countless conversations, people consulted and restless nights. But in reality, there really was only ever one option.

"Hang, on. What are you doing?"

I was looking for a change. After growing up in Milwaukee and knowing that I want this to be my long-term home, I was searching for an opportunity to spend a couple years in a new city (just so happens, I found a way to make that 12 new cities). The problem was.... I was so comfortable in my daily life. I was living in my forever home, within miles of my closest family and friends, working for a company that I loved, yet feeling, just, not quite right. The reality of leaving all of that behind terrified (terrifies) me, but my fearless dream has carried me forward.

"You are going to have the time of your LIFE!"

I sure hope so. <--- (Legitimate response going through my head when you say this to me.) This is hella scary. And to me, this is no joke. I take my work seriously - and I just quit my job. I take my family even more seriously - and I won't see them for a year. These factors made me so ambivalent that I was second guessing my decision up until the hour before I had to secure my spot on the program. If you know me, you just gasped at that procrastination.

"What you are doing is so brave."

Thanks? It feels as though everyone around me has their lives all figured out, as evidenced by their diamond rings, new LinkedIn position notifications and baby bjorns. But do they really? Well, that's not for me to worry about. What I can say is that daily I feel like I have none of my large life milestones in order (at least the ones that most 25 year olds are thinking about). Heck, I just quit my corporate job and bought a one-way flight to Croatia.

Do I crave those goals that others are achieving? Absolutely. Do any of them reside within my control? Barely. After exorbitant energy was spent trying to achieve goals that I can't control, this year I decided to shift my focus to achieving the goals that are within my control. First on the list was, leave Milwaukee - Try a new city - Travel. In March, I heard about Remote Year.

Man this program sounded incredible. I was absolutely ecstatic about the possibility - until I was accepted into the program - and then I was just straight terrified. That final hour of deciding whether or not to do this was unbearable. As an only child, my family has always been focused on making decisions together. Ensuring that all three of us get to talk through our thoughts, feelings and opinions before reaching a conclusion was an unspoken rule. For this decision, it was even more critical to have them on board because if I left my current job, I would be working for them through our family business.

As my parents and I sat together debating what this would all mean, I was about to just say "Forget it. I don't want to do this anymore". It seemed like too much work and way too scary. But instead what came out of my rarely-vulgar mouth was, "Should we just f*cking do this?" and without a beat my mom's never-vulgar mouth replied, "Let's f*cking do this."

If you've followed along on any of my social media accounts before, you already know the theme that this blog will encompass... Honesty & Vulnerability. I expect my life to look dreamy and perfectly in order via my killer Instagram travel posts, but I can assure you, it won't be. This is where you can read about the incredible joys and inevitable lows as a girl who gets homesick going on a weekend getaway, embarks on a year long travel adventure with Remote Year.